The Life of Matty K

2011-06-18T15:42:00.001-07:00

Ah my long negelected refuge and outlet! How I have missed you. Ok not truely missed. I just haven't had the time, or if I've had the time I haven't had the energy to blog. That all changed today when I discovered that through the magic of google I can blog by text from my phone. I have total confidence that by this point no one will be reading this. That matters not one bit to me my ego is more than enough to get me through! Im my favorite follower! So many things have changed and its been an amazing time in my life. I've been lucky blessed charmed repaid karmicly (I think that's how its spelled) whatever it is my life is good. In the coming days ill do my best to spew out more details but for now the highlights. 1. Im getting married to a woman that loves me as I am and that makes me incredibly happy. 2. Managing a Starbucks is really hard! It takes a lot of focused s and energy and
can makes you feel as ifall you can do is fail people. It also pays pretty good and can make you feel great. 3. I miss my family and friends every single day. Its not easy at all being away from them. Much more to come on this. 4. I have the greatest friends and family ever. I've reconected with some and lost touch with others. I do miss the ones I've lost touch with, but I do love that through the magic of the interwebs I am able to stalk.....er keep track of them. That's it for now. I hope laughter finds everyone today.

More words than I really needed to use

2010-10-31T19:34:00.000-07:00

Lets write!

Lets recap, training at Starbucks has ended. I sure hope I've learned enough because tomorrow morning I'll be at a new store. A much closer store. My commute which has been at least 40 minutes for the past four months will be about 10 minutes. My entire life is now in Reno. WOW its weird to write that. For nearly my entire life I've lived or worked in Tahoe, now I do neither. I feel great about this change. I have a great new place that I love coming home to, and it really is nice having things so close to home. Going to the mall or walmart or costco is no longer an all day or half day adventure. this adventure that has been Starbucks has taken me places I never would have guessed. I truly feel like this was the exact right decision for me. I have to give my Uncle Joe so much credit who did to me what I usually do to others and broke things down using logic and common sense to encourage me to make the move. I know this has quickly turned into a "look how happy I am" blog but seriously LOOK HOW HAPPY I AM! In addition to all the comfort and success i feel like I'm enjoying at work, my personal life seems to be at a new high as well. I have a woman in my life that makes me smile, and who I think I make smile. I haven't let someone this close to me in a long time. It took a lot of effort and breaking of old habits and conditioning. So far it's all been worth it. So that's about it for now. I guess I could have skipped all this typing and just wrote I'M HAPPY!!!!!!

It's moving time

2010-09-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

Farewell my hometown! I've never in my adult life not lived the majority of my life in Tahoe. I lived in Carson City for 6 months but still worked and played in Tahoe, same goes for the year I spent in Gardnerville. I'm two weeks from taking possession of my new place in Reno. My life will be in Reno, and for the immediate future my work will only take me as far as Carson City (more on that later). I'll miss my friends a family here, but I have total confidence that this is the right move for me. I need a new environment to test my ability to succeed. I have no nervousness about this move, aside from the logistics of the actual move. I plan on asking some friends for some help so it can be completed in just one mass trip to Reno.

As for work, guess who was told by the district manager she would recommend him for placement in his own store tomorrow. If you guessed me then you win the prize. With the original plan being 6 months and her previously stating that she'd like it to be 8 months, I'm very proud that I'm less than three months in position and they feel I am ready. I look forward to the challenge and new experience. Oh and the pay raise too.

OUCH

2010-08-30T06:30:00.000-07:00

6:30am on a Monday. No I do not have to open the store today, I'm just wide awake early. I suspect it is related to the "pass out cold" sleep I had last night. I spent the day furniture shopping with a friend in Reno and as the afternoon wore on I started to feel the right side of my upper back and neck tighten up. This is never a good sign as it usually means a 10 hour killer headache is about to set in. We went back to her house where I intended on dropping her off and trying to race back to Tahoe so i could hide in my room and ride it out. Didn't happen. I was a ball of pain on the bed and she stayed there with me to help me feel better. She even tried to massage my shoulder and neck to help. It's nice to know I have some amazing friends in my life who care enough about me to take care of me. After about 3 hours and 800mgs of Advil later I was well enough to make the drive home. It was agony but I got home, found the stronger pills and next thing i know its 6:15am. I'm not 100% but I'm closer than I would have been without her help. Now would someone please go do my laundry I have to work tonight!

TWIM aka This Week In Mattland

2010-08-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

WOW what a 10 day run. Went from thinking I might have found someone special to "lets be friends" saw a friend I hadn't seen since graduation day from STHS, laughed my ass off at Sand harbor, took the lamest online traffic school ever, and was told at work that I need to be ready for my own store next week. So much for the 6 month break in period. I would change the pace and style of my life one bit right now.

So on the woman front, at first I was upset, then I remembered that I'm pretty cool and if someone isn't interested in me as a partner it's not my loss. So life moves on and I continue to wait for the the next chapter.

I loved every minute of the play at sand harbor. I was so happy to see Sarah and meet her friend Karen. I think we all had a great time and I'd do it again in a second. If you've never seen "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged" you need to. Also if you still have never been to see a play or concert at Sand Harbor you need to do that as well.

I procrastinated until the day before I had to take traffic school to actually do it. I found a cheepo online one and burned through it in about an hour. It was not very informative, not very helpful, and totally worth the $20 to keep points of my driving record. The funniest part was on the final exam all the questions that had NOTHING to do with driving. I really liked the one about how many CY Young awards Roger Clemens won.

On to work, work is sailing by. I'm working hard and learning fast. I thought I was going to have to wait at least six months for a shot at my own store. As it turns out I might have to wait a lot less. Nothing has been promised or is for sure, but the boss told my training manager to have me ready by the end of next week. I'm not worried, I feel ready and up to the challenge. I'm also ready for the bump in pay and to know what store/town I'll be in. My sense is that I won't be in Tahoe, that's okay, I just hope it's not in Dayton.

Oh i nearly forgot!!! Guess who is going to not one but TWO home games for the University of Oregon! If you guessed anyone but me you are just DUMB. I mean it is MY blog. I'll be there for Portland State and again with Sean on a Thursday night for UCLA. That game will be on ESPN so be sure to look for us in the end zone.

Oh and 6 inches off my waist.

Smile, nod, ignore

2010-08-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

Let's just do that thing we all do when we pass those we've lost contact with. Smile, nod, if forced to interact we'll make small talk and promise to renew connections. Wait lets not. Lets be genuine, honest, open, and fair. If someone has wronged the other let's be adults and make it right. My life is full of wonderful people, but it's missing some of the wonderful people from the past. I'm not so foolish as to think that just because things are not the same or peoples lives have changed that we may no longer have things to offer each other. I like to think that when I let someone in to share even a small part of my life it's a good choice. I'm committing to do my best to reach out to those who have come and gone. I've met so many wonderful people that enriched my life it would be foolish to not reach back out to all of them. Each person brings a unique smile, perspective, and light into a life. I look forward to my adventure and hope to see everyone of you along the way.

July 22

2010-07-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

What to blog about? Nothing changed in the past few weeks so well that's a wrap.

Okay that was BS. I'm official at Starbucks. I'm a month in and have been very successful and happy up to this point. I can't explain how happy I am to be away from the casino, this has been the exact change I had hoped for. I often leave early early in the morning, and come home dirty, smelling of coffee, and tired. In short i love it, and yes I know how to make all those crazy drinks now.

I've lost 5 inches off my waist. I'm by no means slim and trim, but it's a start, and one I'm proud of.
My secret? I smoke a lot of crack!

That's the good news wrap up.

I've got other stuff, but well it makes me feel less than great to think about it and as I tried to write about it, it had the same effect. So I skip it for now and will try later!

Tom Brady designed that bridge!

2010-06-20T15:58:00.000-07:00

With each success comes additional pressure. I wonder if it's ever possible to be 100% at peace with your situation or lot in life. I have begun to suspect that it's not about more success or relief of pressure, but that it is an understanding that so long as you are being true to yourself, good to your family, and treat others fairly you are doing just fine. I live a life that lacks true balance and I'm lead to believe that this is wrong or bad and needs correction. Maybe I'm crazy, okay I am crazy, but if we are happy and being good to others does it really matter if you have "balance?" It seems to me that recognizing what we do well and where we are strongest makes for the most successful people. No one asks Tom Brady to do more math and not focus so much on football, and people don't seem to care that engineers spend an awful lot of time figuring out problems. So although we may never be NFL quarterbacks, or design the next great bridge don't we owe it to the world to focus on what we are best at?

2010-05-27T22:41:00.000-07:00

So this will NOT be a drunken post, or an even drunker follow up post for that matter.
For starters I just snapped at someone close to me. I feel bad about it. I know why it happened. I have been bothered by something for a bit. but I've been trying to keep the peace. Bad plan, it wells up and festers. It came out angry, but that is because I was at the point where I could deal with it anymore. So yes I feel bad, but no i'm not sorry I said it and I'd do it again.

Okay that vent is over.

Apple is evil (FYI I titled this after I wrote it.)

2010-05-24T23:55:00.001-07:00

Oh and listening to music when drunk and thinking about stuff that was burried in your brain and stuff is a BAD idea. Seriously it does not help to pick a song that you shouldnt listent to and then let your iPod genius thing make a playlist cause theiPod will totally pick stuff that is also counter productive, or maybe it;s not but still you know you didn't need to hear it. So fuck you apple genius thing.

i dont know what to call this and should not hit the post button but still will and i have no idea why

2010-05-24T23:25:00.000-07:00

In the interest of full disclosesure this will likely be the most honest and poorly spelled blog by me ever. I'm more than a little drunk.

If you only knew what I just deleted before posting! I guess I'm still a few drinks from full diclosure. Well to the person who knows what the hell I could be blogging about you have outsmarted me. Oh and for the record to that person it was 100% commited and and i knew i was alone in how i felt.

Stink Less

2010-04-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

I stink at keeping this thing up to date. I also stink at returning phone calls, and cleaning up the house.

I got a job, not my dream job but the offer came with just about 6 days left on my severance package and it allowed me to avoid the unemployment line. Actually its the unemployment online now. I am the new retail supervisor for the gift shops at Harrah's and Harvey's so yes that means for now I stay put here in Tahoe. I had a couple other options but they were either temporary, or not nearly enough money. I'll be good at this job, but the likely hood that its LONG term for me ......... undecided.

On to the more important stuff. It is baseball season! The means another season of me cheering for the Braves and not liking what ever team you do. I am a one team guy! The Braves have started off 2 - 0 so I am predicting an undefeated season, 162 - 0! Well maybe not undefeated but still it looks like a good year. The Braves play the terrible evil Giants Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I shall be in San Francisco on Sunday to see what surely will be the completion of a Braves sweep of the team that dresses like its Halloween everyday. I am aware that there are some people who read this that cheer for or are related to people who cheer for the A's. Please know that it's never too late to switch, and that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

So blog updated! I stink less at that. As for the house, I hired Sara Lucero to clean this place up once a week. It's cheep and she does a good job. Yes I am aware that makes me terribly lazy. As for the phone call thing, I still stink at that, probably always will.

Springfield, possible home of the Simpsons

2010-01-25T23:04:00.000-08:00

What have I been doing? Well lets see I've been working alot!!! That's such a lie! I have been doing next to nothing. I got very bored at home my first week off work. So less than a week in I hit the road to see the family in Reno. After a wet wet drive to Eugene I spent 11 days visiting family and being very lazy away from Tahoe. I also did some thinking about where to spend my future. There is possibly a very attractive living arrangement in Springfield, OR. If you don't know where that is is right next to my city of birth Eugene, OR home of the University of Oregon.

This would be a big big move for me. I would like to be away from the Tahoe winters and close to some of my extended family. My first concern was what would I do for work , but heck I don't have a job here either! The honest truth is this feels like the right choice and while it has risks, it also has rewards. I would love to go to school, furthermore I would LOVE to go to the University of Oregon. It feels like I have the support of some of my family here in Tahoe and that feels like a good thing.

So the next step is obvious, fly to Boise Idaho. The reason? The living opportunity is my grandmothers house. Unfortunately she will no longer be able to live there and the home is paid for. I have spoken to my mom about the idea and she thinks it's a good plan too, and can't see any of my aunts or uncles objecting. Still I feel like this is a question best asked in person with my uncle. My uncle who takes care of all her finances lives in Boise. So I will get to experience wonderful Boise in the winter. I just can't wait!

So blog people whom read this what do you think? Am I nuts?

yup, and yup

2009-12-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

Did things the "right" way. Yup it felt better, yup I got slapped (twice).

I may need head gear

2009-12-20T22:37:00.000-08:00

It's a short trip to the first lesson.

I've had some short fast burning relationships in the past, and when I grew bored or changed my feelings I walked away. Usually with little explanation. To make matters worse I never give any indication that things are not perfect, in fact I am so careful to not rock the boat I mislead the women............... wait that's too nice to me. I lie. I have the chance to do the same thing right now. Well since I'm leaving the cave I won't this time. It will be painful but this time I choose to do things the right way.

I don't think the heart will end up bruised on this one, but I may get slapped.

caves!

2009-12-10T20:14:00.001-08:00

I'm going to miss the things in my life the way they are right at this very moment. I enjoy things and the routine I have right now. It's predictable, safe, comfortable. Well like it or not my life is changing. Certainly these moments will be recorded (mostly by me) as the moments that I was forced to leave the cave. I dare to dream and fear to experience. Let me take a moment to be a little too proud. I think I happen to be a very skilled and intelligent man. So it's armed with this belief that I will no longer hide in a job that took very little effort even when my casino was busy. So out from the cave I go! OK so they forced me out, but hey it was a pretty sweet gig and a nice check. So as I look around I get the chance to start fresh, well sort of fresh.

To be honest I have never been open to the idea of letting another person into my space world life etc.. Even my time living with my best friends in the world, Missy and Sean. Even though I would trade places with them if they ever had pain, I could not allow them close enough to be comfortable in my space. I blamed them, it was me.

For about a year I was blessed to spend time with an amazing friend and person. She is a free spirit who I admire for her courage, and caring. Even in our friendship I could never allow her close enough to know exactly who I was. I regret this.

I have been wrong. I do not look back and see these experiences with the desire to change them, but instead learn from them. I choose to no longer fear to experience. I choose to be open with my heart and mind. I am open to the possibility that allowing people to be closer can lead to the best experiences in life. I will not lie, I am afraid of what may happen, and I know that I will be hurt. I also know that a person with no scars has not lived and a heart without them has not either. So I come late to the party, as usual, but I will be the life of the party, as usual!

If nothing ever changed we would still be living in caves and drawing on walls. For starters I only tolerate camping so caves do not work for me, and I am a terrible artist. Good for me things changed.

"You say yes
I say no
you say stop
when I say go go go
oh no
you say goodbye
and I say hello"

Bye Bye

2009-12-04T22:04:00.000-08:00

Yup it is official the speculation can come to an end. My little casino that could, can't anymore. Bill's will close its doors January 4th, 2010. This forces my hand on a lot of decisions that need to be made. I honestly feel like I will be at the very least OK coming out of this. That being said I think this gives me the chance to try to do some things in my life that I have been wanting and needing to do. This may be the blessing in disguise.

First things first I came to Bill's at the peak of it's success. We had player counts on the slot floor in excess of 350 on weekends. I was 22 and supervised a staff of on average 9 slot hosts, 6 bartenders and 9 cocktail servers. My first New Years Eve I worked 16 hours and came back to work another shift 6 hours after I went home. It was nuts! I made change, fixed machines, served drinks, tended bar, and solved guests problems. By comparison the entire building now has a total staff of 11. The majority of which stand around the bar and watch TV because the 3 - 5 players are not very demanding. So am I surprised by this? Nope not one bit.

As of right this moment I don't know what options Harrah's will offer me. Odds are they will offer immediate reassignment, likely to a lower paying job that is not salaried. The other option is a severance package. I am unsure what the length of this is but having been here for 10 years I think it will likely be a good one. Who knows.

So then comes the harder decisions. Should I stay or should I go now? First I love my immediate family and have been blessed to live so close to them all my life. However I have never as an adult lived anyplace outside of the Tahoe area, and in addition I have been working late nights and evenings for 10 plus years. I need a change of scenery, and a change of careers seems to fit into that as well. The most obvious option is to move to Eugene, Oregon. I was born there and I have a lot of family there. It is 100% not Lake Tahoe and would suit me well. The down side is would I be going from one safe place to another? I feel the need to grow a bit and change a bit. So I have considered a few other places. One being southern California bigger cities and a challenge. Another the Santa Cruz I keep hearing some wonderful things and it seems like it may offer a little bit of Tahoe minus the casino and the snow. Lastly is Oregon, but not home in Eugene. Someplace new to me. Maybe where I don't know people and they don't know me.

Lots to think about and I would imagine that this blog will be full of the stuff that is going on in my head in the next few months. Good news is I still have a smile on my face.

"And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way"

Seems like good advice Mr Mraz.

Its an update!

2009-10-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

It's 100% bed time. Just worked till midnight and have to be back at 930. So of course now for the first time in months the mood strikes to write. Ah well that's life or at least a small and likely insignificant part of life.

It's been another long stretch for me since I have visited my blog. Well on the grand mother front. My grand mother on my mothers side. ( I suppose I could have just written maternal) is recovering and will be in assisted living. She is such a wonderful and active person it saddens me that she will now need daily help. However she is close to 90 and each day is a gift. On the paternal ( should I have written my dads side?) grandmother she had a couple of heart attacks and had to have bypass surgery. All in all terrible time to be Matt's Grandmother. She is recovering nicely and the outlook is good.

The home front has seen some changes. I agreed to let Missy move in because she had trouble finding a place. I even agreed to let her stay beyond the first month but this will be the lat month. As I have written before I need my space. I am not sure what made me think that if I couldn't live with my brother I could have another person as a roommate. So I told her the other day she can stay till the end of the month but after that she has to find another place. I feel bad but I can't put my self in a position where I would feel uncomfortable and then in turn resentful o Missy. It's what's best.

My oldest nephew has started high school. He is growing up fast. He made it all the way to the second quarter of his first high school football game before cracking a rib. He has recovered and will play again this week. Football has always been important in our family, but I have decided that I will do something j wish someone would have done for me. I continue to remind him that it's just a game and that it's for fun. We have had a couple long talks about how important school and grades are. We have agreed the graduating high school is not the goal. The goal is going to college and getting a degree. He is smart he just lacks motivation at times. I want to encourage him and keeps things positive for him. As if you couldn't tell by reading this I love him and awful lot an I want him to be all that he wants to be.

My niece continues to work hard in school. We are just a couple weeks from her first band concert of the year. I really enjoy those and I think she likes that I go. She has a lot of her moms attitude and sometimes it drives me nuts. The reality of it is it makes her strong an self reliant. She will do some great things.

As for me, I just keep plugging along at work. Back to the gym finally. Gotta take care of myself so I can see those kids accomplish their goals.

Over a month

2009-08-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

Busy busy, Okay not really but that's my excuse for not writing in over a month.

I will try to give a recap of what's gone on in my little world.

I finished out the flag football season with the guys I wrote about last time. We won our next game, and came up 6 points short to the eventual champs in the playoffs. It was a lot of fun and I loved it. The bad news was I managed to hurt my hip and hamstring pretty good. I missed 4 days of work and pretty much gimped around for about a week and a half. It feels 100% now and I still have no idea how I hurt it. I can only assume that my hip was not prepared for how awesome I was playing.

On the I am getting old front, Rafa has started freshman football, in fact they just had their first scrimmage. He has come a long way from the kid who didn't even want to play. He did a really nice job and shows some real promise. It's difficult for me to not want to coach him. No matter what I will be doing my best to change my work schedule to get to as many games as possible!

The car has ONE payment left! Time to trade it in! NEVER!!!! It sure will be nice to not owe anyone any money for anything. This will free up a good chunk of change every month. I am taking a trip with the money I save in the first 3 months. After that it's all hitting the savings account.

My grandmother is not in the best of health. In addition to the trouble I wrote about previous to this post, she has suffered a stroke, and broken her hip. She is going to be in assisted living, and Mom and Dad have just returned from Oregon to help clean up and organize her house. I still can't get time off to go see her.

That's just the quick rundown I will share more later!

An actual post with actual content

2009-07-17T20:53:00.001-07:00

It's been a decent amount of time since i posted anything about me, or even worth reading so I thought now seems like a good time to change that.

What have I been up to? Well.............. lets see first the big news, well for me it's big news. My friend Nykki (the pretty one in the pictures from Hawaii) is planning on moving out to Tahoe to be closer to her family here, but mainly she just can't stand being so far from me. I am excited to have her in my little corner of the world and I hope she loves it as much as I do.

What else, well Reno is much warmer than Tahoe! I have been there and back a few more time, and Reno in the summer is terrible. That being said, I did hit the water park in Sparks and that was a good time. I am the king of all water slides, and if I had picture to share I would. Funny thing is cameras and water are a bad mix. I did do something I have never done, and have made fun of people for doing. I lost my locker key at the park. Good thing I noticed early and was able to get my stuff into a new locker before someone "found" my key and checked what I had in the locker. Aside from that it was a great day. The wave pool was so so, but the slides that are supposed to scare did in fact scare me. I will do that again this summer, and I will drag the kiddos with me!

I have been watching Kevin and the other guys play flag football a few times this summer and at first I didn't miss it. This week was different for me. I watched the guys play and the next game after them was a bunch of the first kids I ever coached in high school, and my favorite recent graduate Chris Klug. They were pretty disorganized and not having too much fun so I helped them out with some strategy. That was fun for a bit, but the more I stood there the more I wanted to play. One problem, I was wearing sandals. Well with one play to go I said damn the sandals I am in. The guys on the other team of course made a crack or two about my foot ware and a couple about my size. Well not that anyone cares to get a play by play recap of my only flag football play, but your getting it anyway. Chris took the snap and tossed it to me I caught it run to the right and waited for Chris to come back across the field as soon as he did i tossed a prefect pass to him for the score. That's right people one catch one completion one score! After the game and talking with some of the guys I agreed that I would play when I could. I have too much fun out there and hell I have the cleats. So next week I will convince the team mom to take some pictures and share in the glory of what will no doubt be one of the greatest games ever played......... that day....... in Tahoe.

"Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now"

How I got to be so damn smart!

2009-07-11T16:28:00.000-07:00

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Laughs

2009-07-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

Hope you find these as funny as I did.

Grrrr

2009-06-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget to think before I speak.
It is a terrible habit and I truly need to break it. Failure to put thoughts behind my words is reckless and foolish. I can and have hurt myself and others by continuing to do this. It shows a lack of self control and discipline. I think this could be a symptom of a deeper problem.
One that on deeper inspection shows it self in a few parts of my life. My inability to make solid plans and follow through on some commitments are other symptoms of a lack of discipline. As for self control the biggest evidence of this is shown in my failure to eat properly. I am pretty hard on myself for short comings and these have been bothering me alot. I am not sure how to improve on these things. It seems simple to say "ok now I will try harder" but when discipline and self control are the issue that seems silly.
Those who know me the best know how terribly I deal with failure and I have begun to view this struggle as a failure. Usually as I write I find answers or at least some direction but I still find myself at a loss.

Oddities

2009-06-18T23:03:00.000-07:00

I am about to go to bed soon, however I have had an odd day and I felt like getting the head clear.

I woke up early, as has been the case in the past three weeks, and I decided to head to the grocery store. Half way through shopping I realized I left my wallet at home. No more than two days ago I explained to a friend why I always check my back pocket when I leave the house so I don't forget my wallet. Opps!

Since I had already been to the store once today I decided to go get a sandwich from Port of Subs for lunch. I got back home set the soda that came with my sandwich on the table, and promptly spilled the entire soda on my carpet. Good news is I have a very nice carpet cleaner, bad news i had to dig it out of a closet and get it set up. It took me half an hour to get the floor clean.

Off to work where things were sailing along nicely until my mother called me to say that my grandma was taken to the hospital today because she had not been out of bed in three days and had not been eating or taking her medicines. She is 86, but active and this was most unexpected. Her neighbors had not seen her in a few days so they went over to check on her. Thank goodness they did. She is home from the hospital now, but I still have not heard the explanation of why she stayed in bed. I am more than a bit worried about her.

Oh but the oddities don't end there. I went to Amanda's championship softball game. The bad news is she was playing Jessi Lucero's team. We were assured of having one happy girl and one disappointed girl. Amanda's team won which was not the odd thing. The odd thing came when Missy told me that her and her boyfriend Joe had broken up. She was clearly not okay with it and we had a short talk. We decided that the best way to help this was dinner and some cocktails. i left her in the hands of some of her girlfriends and I suspect that she is having a great time right now.

It is now 11:20pm. I am assuming that nothing else will happen in the next 40 minutes of the day, but judging by the events of today I am sure there will be a P.S. to this post tomorrow.

HATE

2009-06-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Hate is a strong word. That being said no man is perfect and I have a lot of hate! I know that for some this comes as a surprise but it is true. The hate I have consumes me and makes me do and say terrible things to people I love. Where does this hate come from?

The evil sports teams of the world!

I HATE the San Francisco Giants!
I HATE the 49ers!
I HATE the Oakland Raiders!
I HATE the NY Mets!

Don't believe it's hate, ask my bestest friend Missy how rough it gets when we watch the Giants play, not even play the Braves just play a game. I would jump in front of a car for this girl, but I take every shot and dig I can on her beloved Giants. This extends to the 49ers, several of my friends are so misguided that they actually cheer for this hapless useless waste of space and air team. It makes me question my sanity because i am friends with people who make such poor decisions! The best thing about the 9ers is the 2 wins a year the give the Seahawks. As for the Raiders what do you say about them? I almost can't abuse their fans. They are like the comic parody of an NFL team. From their owner down to the fans they are cartoons of the rest of the worlds football teams and fans. I refuse to speak about the Mets.

That is the world of my hate!

Open letter

2009-06-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

Dear friends and family,

As I sit here writing I have had the past two weeks free of work and distractions to consider the direction and pace of my life. In case you didn't know I do this a lot. So i thought I would share what I have come up with.

First and foremost, I am a happy person. This hasn't always been the case but I can honestly say that I love me. This is due in no small part to the love and support I get from each of you. Second I am comfortable with my job. I know that in this current economy things change quickly, but I refuse to worry about things beyond my control. I enjoy the people I work with and the things I do, few as they may be.

Lots of things have changed in the past few months as far as the way I have been spending my time. I have spent less time with some friends and more with others. Changing the way I spent my time has not changed that I have love for all of those in my life, even if we are not spending time visiting or talking as much. There are a couple people who fall under this category and I want each and everyone of them to know that they are still important to me. Time is not a measure of love. With the changes I have reconnected with some people who I hadn't had a strong connection with in a long time. All in all a happy part of my life.

My house is clean! Like all the time my house is clean! This is a big deal for me, things are where I leave them, and the dishes are in the dishwasher or put away! I had no clue how much these simple things would make me feel better. I guess I may have a slight touch of the OCD. Oh well since things are right it's a good thing.

I have been to the gym 4 days a week for the last three weeks. I need to increase this number, but hey going from zero to four was a pretty big step. I have made it out for a few rounds of golf, even managed to play with Dad and have fun. The next thing I need to do is practice the softball with Amanda and Sara L since they are both playing summer softball on the traveling team. I am not a softball coach and not a great player, but hey I can pitch and catch and throw the ball with the girls. Besides the practice part they both could use the positive attention, and I love them.

It's not all rainbows and sunshine, there are some things that are not 100% the way they should be, but that's OK I can change those things and they must not be that big of a deal since I am feeling good.

Love ya all!!!!

Matty

The ending of a vacation

2009-06-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

My vacation is almost over! That's just tragic, the upside is that I am having a blast! It has been exactly what I needed. A break from the day to day repetition of home and work was perfect.
I have been all over and done some serious driving.
The baseball game was great aside from the Braves losing, even worse they lost the entire series. Oh well as soon as I got back, I disappeared for a couple of days and had a BLAST. Spent a good chunk of money and enjoyed every single minute of it. Add to that, I re-established a strong friendship that had become not much more than phone calls and the once every six month visit. It has been nice to have an old friend back around. The plus side of all the time I have spent sleeping away from home and driving is that I now only need 100 miles to get a refund on my car warranty! That is a $2000 check in my pocket!. I will spend all that money on the first person to tell me they love me! Should be fun to see who wins!

Hmmmm what else have i done, well I have been writing a lot, most people don't know but I love to write stuff about stuff (no this blog is not the extent of my writing). So I have also decided that maybe I might want to share some of the word garbage that I write with the tiny group that reads my little blog. Maybe I will get the nerve to post something tonight.

Oh and for no good reason here are some funny videos.

JT

Mothers

Smurfs

5 days

2009-05-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

Happy FIVE days till Matt's vacation!

So far so good this month. I have seen more softball/ T Ball games in the past two weeks than I ever knew were played. On one Saturday I woke up went to a T ball game, left from there straight to the high school were I watched Sara Lucero play on one field while Miss Amanda played on the other. A little later that day I was able to see part of Jessi Lucero's game before work. I am not complaining at all it's been fun, I have gotten sun, and managed to not get a burn (I carry sun screen in my pocket now). Lots more games to see, and I still haven't even seen the Oakland A's fan Rose play yet.

Made a trip to Costco with my friend Amy where I found and fell in love with a new TV. I have been smart so far and not bought it, this will be a test of will. I have no need for another TV, but it is the latest toy to catch my eye. Any odds on how long till I give in and buy it? I put the over under at 2 weeks.

That's it that's all.

And so far.......

2009-05-13T00:56:00.000-07:00

It's not summer yet, but it sure looks like we are in for a great one!

Made it to a baseball game already, and Missy and I are going to watch the Braves stomp a mud hole into that team from San Francisco. Even better Tanya will be joining us and possibly my cousin Bobby. We shall see, but no matter what it's going to be fun.

Bobby came to visit for a couple nights. Which was cool. I wish I had not had work and meetings for part of it, but such is life. Yesterday we caught Missy's softball game, they won alot to not alot. Followed that up with pizza, wings, and beer at Pizza hut. Kylie met us there and we continued the night at the bowling alley. I was clearly the best bowler so I shamed all of them with my mad bowling skillz! Funny to she Kylie and Missy having a little extra buzz than usual, also I think possibly the first time I saw Bobby working on his drunk.

That's about it. Not all that eventful or exciting beyond that. Good thing I still have 4 days left in the week!

It's just not a good choice

2009-05-09T00:15:00.000-07:00

The old noggin is going about 2000 mph. I let myself get all worked up and my brain working to fast. Maybe if I let the fingers spill out the contents of the head things will ease back to normal.

I fear that my soft spoken and laid back attitude may have some people confused as to my willingness to take crap or accept less than fair or appropriate treatment. This is unfortunate, not for me but for them. I am willing to forgive and over look a lot. This is easy because regardless of what I may say I know I am not perfect and not everyone likes me, and my attitude. That's okay to each their own I don't have to be loved by all because the people close to me love me. So with that said, if I don't know you you don't get to talk shit like we are old friends. In fact if you would like to see me angry in a hurry that's a pretty solid way to do it. I question the reasoning behind someone doing that. Possibly they assume that there association with some one close to you grants them license, or maybe they have an over inflated sense of self worth. It could be that they have no clue how to behave. Not sure and don't care.

I pride myself on my ability to control my anger and that with the exception of attacking family and close friends I let most stuff go. To be totally honest I am and always have be aware that I am a large and strong person. I know that anger and rage when left unchecked are dangerous things, the danger is further increased because of my size and strength. I will never understand why a person would make a choice that could cause another person anger. It makes so little sense, and maybe this is my ego talking, but why in the hell would you take the risk of making a guy like me mad?

So I sit here in my chair typing away on this blog and considering if maybe I am being hypersensitive to things. The more I think about it the more I think I am not. I would never insult a person I just met unless my intention was to upset, or demean them, and I wouldn't want to do that to anyone. I suppose that it is best to just smile and remember that for every person who at best doesn't know how to behave and at worst is a fool to and insult me. I have many many more who are loving and caring people whom I trust. Wasting energy on a negative person or thing is an injustice to all of the positive and good people in my life. Best of luck to the haters!

Not quite done yet! All of the reason and calm productive typing and venting is helpful and makes things go away nicely the first time. So please please don't let people keep making the same mistakes.

Whew! sorry if that was a mindless rant but it had to get out and this is the best way to do it. Well this and the very loud music I am listening to. Still not feeling happy and totally calm but much closer. Guess it's like the song says "hold your own, know your name, go your own way, everything will be fine."

Thoughts

2009-05-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

Dang I am tired! I have been busy today.

I love when people do the right thing, even if you have to give them a nudge. It reassures my ever shaky faith in the goodness of people. I often dwell on those people who can't seem to tell a lie from the truth, or worse don't care there is a difference. Add to that the people who act as if the only thing that matters is their happiness even at the cost of others. BUT sometimes the world reminds me that most people care about others and that people like other people to be happy.

I often think that if we all just followed the golden rule, and not the rule of gold the world would work out just fine. The reality is we don't live in a utopia and never will. That makes the kind and generous things that people do for one another even more amazing. People know that things will never be perfect, but the human spirit is such that good people do whatever they can to make things better. These are the most important people to have not only in your life, but on the planet. With out selflessness we will never be our happiest. You can try and try and chase money, things, or praise, but until you just stop and are willing to help the person next to you you won't feel the happiness you seek.

It's little stuff that is the easiest and means the most to people and the world. It's nice and to be sure a worth while thing to plant a grove of trees or start a recycling program. Teaching your kids to recycle and not waste does more than the big stuff, and all it takes is setting a possitive example. The reality is that letting someone in front of you in traffic is just as important. Holding the door open for someone, smiling at a stranger all of these things mean something right now. I love that most all of the people in my life are like this and that they set the example for me. I would not be the person I am without the things I have learned from them. In fact I suppose my nature is to be selfish and seek success only for me. The positive and great people in my life make me a better person.

And now for the recap

2009-04-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

I am 100% done living in my old house. My new place is unpacked and looking good. The old place is clean and turned back over to the rental company. I owe a big thank you to Patti for getting me free use of the moving truck, and a bigger one to Kevin and Corey for their help moving. We moved everything in about two and a half hours.

Having my own space for the first time in two plus years has allowed me some quiet time. I like to sit on the couch and just watch the trees and grass. It gives me time to think and just be. I have taken time to read once again.

I had Missy, Kevin and Corey over the other night we had some pizza, drank some beer and watched baseball. I missed having people over and doing those things. I will be doing that more often. In addition to being more comfortable I have found the time and motivation to stay at home and cook for myself. I am becoming quite the chef and am now looking for a few new more challenging things to try.

The move however has not been all perfect. I miss my nephews ALOT! They used to come into my room every morning and give me hugs and kisses before they left for school, and on the weekends we hung out and watched cartoons. They are such amazing boys I was so lucky to be so close to them for the past two years. I also miss the lil bro, we didn't go out and do alot, but we spent time hanging at home and watching sport etc. The good news is they live 2 minutes walk out my front door. I am excited to spend the summer with the boys at the pool and park.

All in all the past month has been a good one, and leads me to believe that this will be an amazing summer!

p.s. house guests are welcome, come on over.

The rambling mess of a blog with no connections that makes little or no sense

2009-04-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

I move in less than one week! I have packed nothing. Truly this is a product of my desire to avoid any and all actually work. A nasty habit I have that needs breaking. I don't want to dig ditches or anything but I suspect that a little more work in my life would be a good thing for me.

It has been a good couple of weeks for me aside from the lack of work. I have taken care of some financial chores that needed to be addressed, and planned out a solid budget to allow me to have a good time, but actually save a little more of the money I am making. I have managed to avoid the unneeded shopping trip and not gone out and bought myself anything that I do not need. It has felt odd, strike that very odd not to have a new toy or something to play with each week.

Are you aware that it can snow whenever it feels like in Tahoe? I looked like some sort of odd out of towner this week since I had a sunburned dome from Lily's birthday party while it was snowing and 30 degrees outside. The party by the way was fun, and a little scary to see 1,458 two year old's in the same place. I was part of the greatest puppet show ever performed with Jason. It felt odd laying under a table and talking in strange voices, but once I saw the video I knew that I have I future on Sesame Street! I will be the next voice of cookie monster.

Pier One Imports is closing in Tahoe, which in it self is not blog worthy, however the scene I was part of when I went to look around on Saturday was nothing short of crazy. There were no parking spaces, I had to circle the lot twice to park. That should have been my cue to abandon trip, but I pressed on. Once I got inside the store I realized my mistake, but it was too late the exit was blocked by a lady trying move a desk to her car who was refusing help from all who offered. There were some good deals, nothing to jump up and down for. I did find some glass jars for the kitchen counter for a good price so I decided to head the registers. There were three open registers, but oddly enough only one line. I got in the one line and waited quietly as ladies in line screamed instructions to unseen people throughout the store who were still shopping. I am assuming that this is some sort of mega sale super technique know only to the those who have mastered the art of the deal. This scene was what I imagine it looks like every black Friday after Thanksgiving. I will never ever ever never ever be part of something like that again.

Oh yes

2009-04-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

It is spring time and the shorts have come out of hibernation for the season. I made a startling discovery when putting on my shorts. I have lost like 4 inches around my waist since I last put on the shorts. I am so happy, usually winter is my big gain season, but it looks like skipping out on the junk food and missing my birthday cake has paid off. I am pretty proud of myself, because junk food is like crack to me and I am 5 months clean. All that time and no JFA (junk food anonymous). Summer is so close I can feel it. That means in addition to baseball, disc golf, actual golf, hiking, swimming, and who knows what else. So yippee me and woot woot and all kinds of other stuff.

Idiot or Evil Genius?????

2009-03-26T22:55:00.001-07:00

HOORAY for my inability to keep track of dates! It has finally paid off. I have been extra careful with my money in the past two weeks so I could be sure to have some cushion in the checking account for the next month when I move. I have done a good job and I will be fine. the funny part about it is with all my planning and plotting and budgeting I forgot to include a small detail. Like an entire pay check. Whoops! At first i was feeling pretty dumb, then it hit me that I had inadvertently saved a bunch of cash by forgetting my pay day so good for me. See how smart I am, even when I mess up it pays off! I swear if I ever turn my mind to crime or evil I will rule the world!

BASEBALL!!!!

2009-03-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

Baseball season is nearly here! I know everyone is just as excited as I am so lets all take a deep breath and just calm down. First if you don't care about baseball this will be the least interesting blog you have ever read. I would apologize but hey you have been warned.

The greatest team in all of baseball the Atlanta Braves open the season on April 5th. This day shall be taken as a holiday from work and spent watching the game. So sayith Matt! (sorry for the third person thing I get excited) Now some how I have allowed some people in my life who don't think the Braves are the greatest team. We shall call these people the dumb ones, no that seems harsh, how about the less informed. These people and you know who you are! cough cough Rose, cough cough Missy cough cough Jahny are just wrong about their teams. lets start with the A's they are so bad they can't even afford any more than one letter. As for the Giants they dress in black and orange, Halloween colors because they are just pretending to be a baseball team.As for the links at least if I have to type the names I get to see something nice.

The other exciting part to the beginning of the season in going to games. The Rivercats open their season in Sacramento on April 9th, I hope to be there. Also even more exciting is the AAA team that is in Reno this year. There first game is April 17th, it is a tough ticket but I hope to be at that one too. I always welcome friends to join me at the game, you don't have to know baseball to go, and I won't get annoyed if you ask questions or want to talk about other stuff during the game, but please for goodness sake don't ask me to leave with the score tied in the eighth inning! Not a good plan.

Now on to the part I need some advice about, the Brave are in San Francisco at the end of May. I have a chance to buy field level directly behind the batters box first row on TV the entire game so close you can here the players fart seats! I could sit there in the Giants park with my Braves jersey, hat, tomahawk and boo the Giants all night on TV! The bad news is, $141.00 for each seat. Am i totally insane for even considering this?............................ Yes nuts, never mind I wont be spending that much on a baseball ticket this year.

Happiness

2009-03-15T10:42:00.000-07:00

How are you? Are you happy? I sure hope so. I know that I am pretty happy for a decent stretch I have smiled and laughed and let things just roll off my back. I can't pin point when or what has helped me be happy, or I guess happier is a better word, since I was not sad.
I do know that I have been blessed with some very special people in my life, and I am glad they are part of it everyday. The more I think about it the more I believe that giving up worry was a big part of my happiness. I read a quote today that really struck a note with me it said "you can not be content or productive if you are preoccupied with being unhappy."
I was the guy who always worried bad stuff was going to happen, or that people were doing or saying bad things. Worse than that I refused to trust people, and assumed that everyone was lying to or trying to take advantage of me. I hope no one who reads this has every lived or felt like that. It controlled all parts and relationships in my life. I distrusted the world and probably pushed some wonderful and amazing people out of my life.
The best news is I am not that guy anymore, not in quite sometime. I only have people n my life that are honest and that I trust. It feels nice. Furthermore I now 100% enjoy helping other people in my life. I trust that the people I do things for are deserving people who appreciate me for it and would never take advantage of or hurt me.
So if you are part of my life, and you must be since you are reading this, thanks for being part of making me happy and giving me smiles. I hope I do the same for you.

Sorry if this was a boring and rambling blog but I just wanted to get the words out of my head.

Step 2

2009-03-13T01:15:00.000-07:00

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all I could think when I took a look at my income, and my bill's and realized I do a terrible job of saving money. I make way more than my monthly bill's but I have been way to silly with my money. So since this is going to be the best year ever, and I am making changes I have decided that step two is doing a better job of tracking my money. Not all that difficult, in fact it will give me an excuse to set up a cool new spread sheet (SUPER NERD STRIKES AGAIN!). The down side to this is that I think I have to save my receipts from my debit card purchases, this is very very upsetting. In fact I had a thought that the best way to track my money so I could save it would be to hire someone to do it for me. Then it occurred to me that maybe spending more money was counter productive to saving it. Then I thought maybe I could just get a slave to take care of stuff. Sarah pointed out that it is not only immoral, but illegal. Thanks for raining on my parade Sarah! So man up time I guess and for the first time since, well since I started being in charge of my own money I will actually save receipts and track my spending. Two words............. THIS SUCKS!

Movin'

2009-03-10T00:21:00.000-07:00

I feel like this next year is going to be a great one for me. I don't have any hard facts, but things just feel like it is going to be a special one. If you want more details about how or why quit pressuring me, I will tell you when I feel like it!

The first thing that is happening is I am growing up! After 2 pretty darn good years living with my brother and his two awesome kids I have decided that Matt needs to have his own space. I will miss them being around all the time, but I won't miss them being around ALL the time. So the search for housing has begun. I have a few good ideas and don't think it will be too difficult to find the right place. The issue that comes up is I own like NOTHING. Of course I have a big screen TV and cool electronics, but I need pretty much everything else. And when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING.

I need couches, beds, microwave, mixer, blender, coffee table, end tables, sheets, chairs, lamps, wall art, disco ball, fog machine, dart board, bowling alley. So what would be great is if each person who reads this (which I suspect is like 3 people) would just pick up say like 4 of the things on my list and just give them to me. No string attached no hope of repayment, just give them to me. Now let me be clear about some things. One I don't want cheap stuff so NO CRAP! It better be good high end stuff, I deserve it we all know I do! The second requirement is that you give me the receipt for it, and no gift receipts! I need to be able to exchange or return whatever you buy me in the event I hate it. For those of you that live a long distance from me please make your purchase at a store that has a branch near Tahoe, or actually just come to Tahoe and buy it. It will save you shipping since you can just drop it off at my house. So let me thank you all of you in advance for whatever you buy me, as I will probably not thank you when you give it to me.

Ok seriously I need to get stuff and here is the REAL plan. I am hitting up the thrift stores for some cheap stuff for a month or two until I can find some cool new stuff at a real furniture store. Also for the record if you have anything you want to give to me I will happily take it and thank you profusely.

This is just the first step in what will be a fantastic year, so here I go!

I killed it!

2009-03-07T00:20:00.000-08:00

I killed it! It has been done and I am responsible. I killed my myspace page. Which to be honest only existed as long as it did because I was blogging on it. Well like the T.I. song says "the old me is dead and gone." Well not actually the old me but the old blog is dead and gone.

I could use this next part to tell you what I will write about and how I will use my blog, but hey it's a freakin' blog written by ME what do you think I will be writing about? English royalty and the strife in Darfur? Um not happening.

So for anyone who does not know much about me.................................. Why are you reading this? You must be really bored! Oh well you wasted your time so I will throw you a bone. My name is Matt I live in beautiful Lake Tahoe. I work, I play, I have some crazy family, and some crazy friends. I love them all and I enjoy my life.